So there I was, having my much needed bath, reading
a book about solitary witchcraft and thinking about religion.
I am a Christian, in that I love my neighbour as my self and I am more
than willing to forgive people who've upset me However, I take The Bible as
'guidelines' not 'law' because it was written a long time ago by men, and I am not a) living a long time ago or b) a
man. I believe the 'wiccan' ideas of doing whatever, as long as
there is no harm to anyone and that everything you put into the world
will come back to you threefold. I believe that God loves me, and that
whatever makes me happy makes him/her/it happy. All these things just
seem like common sense human things to me, tho I know not everyone
feels the same way. My basic law is: be nice. That's about it.
At university I described myself as an existential pantheist, and I
guess I am (though hopefully not such a pretentious one...) I believe
we make our own destiny (whilst still believing everything happens for
a reason, bear with me, it's not all sorted in my head yet) and I
believe that you can
see God every day in your back garden, or in the sky, or whatever. I
pray a lot, for guidance and
reassurance, and for my friends - I have an open dialogue with
'whoever'. Whcih could also be classified as 'positive thinking' or
even, I suppose, 'spell casting.' Whatever you want to call it. I've
had bad times, and now I'm having good times, but I won't be afraid
when the bad times come again, because I know good times exist - er,
see?
So I'm laying in the bath, thinking all this (and thinking - there's a
blog entry in this) and wondering what religion all that makes me - and
whether I want to be aligned with organised religion anyway. After all, I
don't want to go to synagogue just to hear that Muriel's got a new hat,
as my mates Jewish grandma memorably said. I left the church in my
village when I was about 17, mostly because Sunday mornings were
re-appropriated for recovery, but also because it was a hotbed of
gossip and slander. Then I briefly considered starting a new blog in which I
play all the major religions off against each other - but then I
decided it had probably already been done, and it might be quite
offensive, and there are too many religions, and I can't be arsed, and Ganesh would kick all the other arses anyway. (You
know, there's a tribe somewhere that gets steaming drunk just for
the insights revealed to them in their hangovers? Well, there is.)
And all the time, I'm sort of chatting to my God too, just batting
these ideas around, thinking how great it would be if I could do more
for the earth every day like lovely green Bobble does and how maybe I
should do some voluntary work or something and how thankful I am for
where I am and how I'm a bit worried the world seems to be cocking
itself up. And it occurs to me, I'm laying in a bath, talking to a
voice inside my head, like a mental. If e_b knew he would dump me. I
get out of the bath. I look at my (somewhat steamy) self in the mirror. And I say out loud
(like a mental) 'You
are there, though. Aren't you? Whoever you are. You are
there?'
Then, I shit you not, the doorbell rings. Naturally I laugh, and
congratulate God on the joke. Pull on e_b's dressing gown and open the
front door. Well, you know what's coming, don't you? That's right:
I actually laughed out loud, and took their literature with glee
(rather cheekily 'Awake!' looks as though it is an informative read for
those at home during the day - 'watch out for fraud', 'how to clean
your fridge' etc and they'd tucked Watchtower inside it, naughty
Jehovah's.) Now, I am not about to become a Jehovah's Witness (no
birthday? can't donate my organs? etc) but I appreciate the reassurance.
So I will go on believing and talking things through with my God,
because S/he is mischievious and playful and all around us and I like
that.
Here endeth the lesson.
**disclaimer** Em is not mental. She is actually quite pretty and clever and nice. She likes drinking, eating and sex. Just like you.
