Ah've bust it.
mmm

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Hello Bloggers!





I've been away, doing ummm.... stuff. Stuff like, not getting a job and
making sure we have the cleanest toilet in the world. Or at least in
Clapham. So, I'll update you, as I know you must be missing me.




I went home for my sis birthday over the bank holiday weekend. Met her
from the train in Leeds to go with her to get her back tattoo finished
off. She
had the top part done when she was sixteen, and wanted it to be done
for her 21st. My god, it totally put me off having a tat on my back, at
least. I would put a link in to the studio, but I can't remember who
they were (I was sort of put off by the fit as fuck bloke rather
attractive young man doing the job - phewee.) Anyway, after two hours,
I needed to head off to meet my old bezzy mate in Huddies, so I left
her howling and writhing on the bench. Here's how it ended up, she
couldn't manage to get the other half filled in, mostly because it was
6pm when she left and she went in at 2! She's in Milan at the mo' but
plans to get it finished when she's back, I think. The first bit is a
close up of some shading, tho it's still quite red, and the second bit
is showing all that she had done that day (the older tat and some
twiddly bits are higher up on her shoulders, so you can only see the new bit here. She has rather a long
back, no?







Anyway, I got back to the Hudd to see my mate and go for a couple of
jars. I kissed her and her man hello, and was treated with much
ridicule. Obviously I am becoming a bit of a Londoner, after all. Went
shopping with her and my sis the next day (Friday) and managed to get
some lovely new black stilettos, which I adore, and a hat for blinkage
purposes.



My most
wonderful baboon almost didn't make it, but somehow he sorted it out
and arrived on Saturday night (instead of Saturday morning.) Sunday was
the day of the party, her 21st, which was to be a real tea party as
this would be the last time she wasn't an adult. If you see what I
mean. e_b and I decorated the best buns you ever saw, but somehow I
forgot to get a picture of them. Anyway, they were brilliant. e_b then
made us a pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey. Here is a picture of him pinning
the tail on a drainpipe instead (yes, the party was in our half finished
conservatory. It has been half finished for well over ten years.)







Got back to London in time to go to The Hannahaha's swanky birthday
party at The Langley, which was brilliant. Definitely want to go back
there, if only for the cocktails, which were luvverly. Debate was quite
heated, with the discussions 'can men and women really ever just be
"friends"', 'is dvd piracy  such a bad thing?' and 'was there a
Dirty Dancing 2 released in the eighties, or is Havana Nights truly
DD2?' I'm surprised they didn't throw us out, the obscenities that were
screamed and cutlery that was hurled over that last one. Then we did
magic tricks with matches. It was great.



On weds I saw m#2 to catch up on all the Reading gossip I've missed,
and we've decided it must be a regular thing, so I'm seeing her next
week too. e_b bought Warioware for the gamecube, so we had mates over
to drink beer and repeatedly press A the other night, which was a great
laugh. And now I'm off to meet The Hannahaha for lunch. So I must bid
you au revoir.



Au revoir!

9.9.04 12:31


Wowzers!!

I was so jealous of Queener's PopUpPond  that I managed to track one down on Ebay and win it! Hurrah and huzzah. I am no longer an ebay/paypal virgin.



Though this appears to be dangerous.



I've already had to stop myself bidding on some cowboy boots, a vinyl
table cloth and a pair of salt and pepper shakers shaped like titties.



God help us all...

10.9.04 11:23


Friday Afternoon Spooky Short Story Time

(easier to read in print preview)



Casting The Runes - M R James



The Signalman - Charles Dickens


The Monkey's Paw - W W Jacobs (if you only read one, make it this one!)

10.9.04 17:41


oh, dear god...

so last night I went out with m#2. Somehow, we decided that bottles of
house white at a fiver could only be a good thing, especially given
soda water is free free free. Healthy, innit? Less cals than the old
vodka. And that's what I was drinking to excess the night before when I saw lovely lovely Dazza. O h god.



I am so fucking sick. I'm amazed my dentist has never accused me of an
eating disorder, the lack of enamel I must have on the back of my
teeth. I always make myself sick if I feel a bit queasy, but, unk. I'm
blaming dodgy chicken burger on the way home.



If anyone is in Clapham, or Balham, or Tooting - can you please please
go to the shop and get me some crisps and chocolate and milk and then
bring it round my house? I can't move. So it looks like I won't be out
tonight after all - sorry, Mr. Malden, but I can't. Physically, I can't.



and... m#2 is off to Thailand in a couple of weeks. She might see N.
Possibly. Certainly she is seeing people he works with. There was only
one thing I had to not say
last night, but of course after the second bottle I was practically on
my knees begging her to find him and tell him how much cooler I am now,
and not a pathetic drunk at all, and I don't care about him and my
boyfriend is cool and I live in London so ha ha ha.



Oh. God. Why? I told her to make sure he knew at any cost. I am now visualizing the scene:



N: oh, em! hi! I haven't seen you for ages - do you fancy a drink?

M: yes, a drink, you remember
the other emma who liked drinks? Well she is thinner and richer and
more sober now and she doesn't like you any more ha ha ha. White wine
spritzer please.



I am of course working off the assumption he doesn't read this little
old blog of mine. Opinion is divided. Dazza thinks he'll have forgotten
the whole thing, as men are wont to do, when the onus is no longer on
them, and has probably even forgotten my name. m#2 is of the opinion
that he must surely look, as anyone who found a blog slagging their
girlfriends and generally stalking them would - even if my blog isn't
really about that any more. In which case he already knows that I am
way cooler.



I know Dazza is right, being a man, and thus understanding the
mysterious and often painful way their crazy minds work. But I want to
believe m#2. I don't know why.



Maybe I just want to prove to myself that I've come a long way. I have
come a long way. But laying here shaking with a kool'n'soothe on my
forehead and a kool'n'soothe on the back of my neck is reminding me of
where I used to be.



Unk. Poor Emma.





16.9.04 17:34


I heard

the other day, that if you get one line from a song stuck in your head
then it's possible your brain is trying to tell you something. The gist
of the song, or another line in the song might be what your
subconscious is desperately trying to signal to you, but your conscious
brain can only remember the catchy 'hook'.



Yesterday I couldn't stop singing 'put me in the groove and don't let
me back out again' but that's because we were watching a cool-i-oh band
at the Greenwich jazz festival and this was the line they were making
the audience singalonga too. So I don't think there was any message
contained in that one.



But now, suddenly, on the tube and the way home and now again, sat in
front of my PC I just cannnt, cannot stop singing  'cold
turkeeeeeeeeeeeee, has got meeeeeeeeeeee / on the run / huh / doo doo
doo dooooo
'



I would say it's a mystery. But I'm thinking it's suggest I lay off the booze.



In other news:
I might put the pond in on Saturday. Or I might wait til
Spring, who knows? But we're definitely going to try and tame the
garden this weekend. I went out there this morning and explained to the
trees what was going to happen, and how it would be better for them in
the long run. Yes, that sounds a bit mental, but I reckon they
appreciated every word.

20.9.04 16:48


Because I am cool -

I have a Gmail invite.



 Look, I know it's a bit after the event, but hey.

22.9.04 11:12


Nothing if not continental



Last night a French girl brought us some cheese. Then we had an Italian sleeping in our living room.



This pleases me.

22.9.04 16:29


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