worst thing in the world?

being so so so careful with money, writing everything down, accounting for every penny, making your own lunches every day, walking and bussing instead of taking the tube, devising A MENU and PRINTING OUT YOUR SHOPPING LIST to make sure, to make absolutely certain you wouldn't go into your (non-existent) overdraft this month and get charged 30 quid...

...and then discovering when you checked your balance at lunch your careless carousing over the weekend means that this week after your phone bill and rent money have gone out you have £8.23 to live on.

best thing in the world?

actually checking your statement online instead of just your balance and realising WOO-HOO!!! your phone bill went out this morning already!! ch-ching!! I saved fifty quid this month!!

pub?

1) I won't be settled about this Birkbeck thing til they send me the course handbook, etc
2) I won't be settled about my job til they offer it me permanently. And I manage to get it. In November.
3) I'm waiting on various medical results and I want them NOW goddamit, don't these people watch CSI?
4) He's off work and I'm not.
5) Not a single person has emailed me in one and a half days. Yes I know I haven't emailed anyone.

But I shouldn't be grumpy because:

1) Only 15 mins and it's lunch and halfway through the day
2) I'm wearing a pair of trousers I haven't been able to get in to for two years. Get in!
3) My esteemed colleague thinks of my 'hood as home and is treating it as such for the next few days.
4) I saved enough money this month to not feel guilty about buying lunch and a Fortean Times today.
5) The visitors we had at work this morning seemed vaguely impressed by how the place works with me at the helm.
6) My hair looks nice today, and I haven't had it cut in over a year.
7) I'm going out on Saturday with my old friend from college.
8) I might go out in Brixton on Friday.
9) I tidied my flat up and it looks the dogs. I have a vacuum cleaner that actually works. I live in Streatham.
10) [well, that's not for 20six eyes I don't think.]

That's slightly better.

various people: But, but how can you be so dumb as to believe in God?

me: well, I dunno. You know, if you need something and you ask, you get it. Unless it's bad for you, then He plays some dumb ass joke on you to make you realise. Like that time I said I really, really wanted to sleep with that guy and I got drunk and fell asleep on him and he never spoke to me again.

various people: You're nuts, love.

me: No, sssshhhh, it's true. Isn't my life great?

various people: Er, what about those crap bits? Where you thought you might die? Or at least, you hoped you would?

me: No, look, you're not listening, how else would I know how great my life is? How else would anyone? I've always had everything I needed.

various people: what - EVER.

... and then when I moved into mah wee flat there was nowt in it but a bed and a wardrobe and a chest of drawers, and a washing machine and a cooker and a sink, and a bath and a toilet and two showers. But what else did I need? Toward the end of the first fortnight I realised - I needed a vacuum cleaner. But they're so expensive! I decided I'd ring the estate agents and ask for one, but I never got around to it. I just carried the thought in my head when the rest of my thoughts had quietened down. I need a vac. Must sort that out.

Then one day I came home and unlocked my front door and there in my hallway was a brand new vacuum cleaner.

Who put it there?

God.

Sssshhhhh.

God.

I forgot to move all my money from one account to the other, meaning I was £525 overdrawn this morning - BAH. I called up and moved it straight across and I won't get charged, but BAH all the same. I was doing so well. How could I have forgotten? BAH.

Also, I had a disconcerting dream involving a 20six dinner party. How can you explain to someone IT DOES MATTER what other people think? Or maybe I should stop being an arse and worrying what other people think.

Also, he's still off work and I'm not.

BAH.

**edit** oh, do shut up, em, you are not that grumpy. two people just said how nice and helpful you were and your boss COULD have had a go at you for the state of your desk and how difficult it is for other people to work on it at lunch, but she didn't, she went and found you some storage and told you to 'just ask' if you needed anything. so shut up.

 I am incredibly bored.

Which of my 20six "secrets" do you know?

1) My other blog(s)
2) My lover
3) Where I work

Bored. Bored bored bored.

B-O-R-E-D.

here's a clue:

Is there a way to stop yourself being so jealous you feel like scraping out your brain with an ice cream scoop and stamping all over it?

Please advise.

Kind regards,

Emma

The other week a student wandered in here and asked me if I wanted a free breakfast. I was so eager for free food that I said yes straightaway, overlooking two points 1) the breakfast would be from mcdonalds and 2) I would actually have to pay for it. IN BLOOD.

But still, it was a free breakfast, so I gave them some blood, ate the breakfast and then gave them some more blood so they could see just how toxic a Big-Breakfast-In-A-Bun could be. Halfway through proceedings I discovered the guy was an A-level student, not a uni student as I'd at first thought. I think you'll agree I showed admirable restraint by not fainting dead away.

Anyway, the first set of results are in. My cholesterol is (quite frankly) astounding at 3.6. That's before I chowed down on the maccyds though. My glucose is a not-very-interesting 'normal.'

The funny thing is, now that I've watched a man drain both my arms of blood I am quite keen to repeat the experience. There is a blood donor van parked outside college every other week and I can't ignore it any longer. Next time I pass it I'll go in and sort it out.

You'd think this would be for a valiant reason - for little children who need transfusions, or for the emergency services, but no. It's because I figure if I keep taking blood out and making new blood the new blood is clean. FRESH CLEAN BLOOD swirling through my veins, replacing the vodka diluted slush which is chugging through them right now.

I find out what happened after I ate the breakfast later on this week. I'll keep you posted.