I have spent a mental week:
Entertaining my sister as a kind of dry run for having my parents to visit. I couldn't be looking less forward to it, seriously. We accidentally went to the opening night of Avenue Q. I don't know if you've ever had to walk up a red (well, yellow) carpet with a load of paps to the side whilst wearing your scuzziest, just picnicked in, outfit and carrying three carrier bags but let me tell you - IT IS EMBARRASSING. Still, the show was good, and the picnic (of finest borough market/london bridge fare) was worth it. Also, the funniest thing in the world turns out to be my sisters belief that Noel Coward is spelt Knowle Cowarde. I mean, WHAT?
Making a bracelet. I am half done. Why would ANYONE want to do this for a living? It is hard, and expensive. It looks pretty sweet though.
Pet-sitting for a rabbit, a cat and some fish. I am so worried about the rabbit in this heat. I mean, he was okay yesterday (running around, etc) but it is H-O-T today (he's a house rabbit.) I am going to buy some magicool and spray his hutch. The cat's from LA so I have no worries about him, he's just a big fat whinger.
Being constantly late for work.
Offending lesbians. Those I know, by ditching them on Saturday for the lure of a cool pub and 'some proper music' and then one I didn't by saying I was sick of being gay and just wanted a vodka and lemonade. I was clearly joking. She needed to get. ov-er. herself.
Deciding to do zero, yes, ZERO for my birthday, although I might go out the week after for a cheapo meal somewhere with mah biatches. Watch your inboxes ladies. Why ZERO? Because I cannae be arsed cap'n (and various other boring reasons.)
Reading Tipping the Velvet. I should have smacked that grumpy lesbo in the face with it. Also, I will never write 'tom puree' on my shopping list ever. again.
Finding a super cure for being blue. It is singing Chauncey May. It couldn't make me laugh more.
... The morning sun when its in your face really shows your age
But that don't worry me none, in my eyes you're everything
I laughed at all of your jokes, my love you didnt need to coax
Oh, Chauncey I couldn't have tried any more
You led me away from home, just to save you from being alone
You stole my soul and that's a pain I can do without
All I needed was a friend to lend a guiding hand
But you turned into a lover and
Mother what a lover, you wore me out ...
Oh and doing something else but it's a (really fucking obvious) secret til it's too far gone to be unjinxable. So don't ask me about it. Okay? It's nothing earth shattering, I'm not up the duff or owt. But it's pretty cool.
